A Modern Day Exodus
We’ve all heard the conversations of the rising unchurched population – one who neither belongs nor is connected to a church – for years. It’s certainly not a small group of disgruntled Christians. By 2050, the percentage of the U.S. population attending church will be nearly half of what it was in 1990. At the focus of the conversation is usually my generation, the millennials. In 2015, only 27% of millennials attended religious services on a regular basis 1.
Unsurprisingly, what is forgotten in the unchurched conversation is the nuanced experience of Black Church and Christendom. There’s church and there’s being churched. It can only be understood by being experienced. From Conservative Baptist to Full Gospel; from COGIC to PAW, the Black church is, still, a cornerstone of our lived experience – even for those who’ve left it behind.
It is no secret that Black folks are more religious than the U.S. population as a whole. 87% of Black folks describe themselves as a person of faith2. Yet, the echo of the exiting footsteps of millennials from the Black church has grown from a mumble into a roar. Two weeks ago, I sought to find the why and asked my village.
Unplugged: The Church Disconnect
Overwhelmingly, many Black Millennials simply don’t feel a connection to the church. They often don’t feel fulfilled by worship services, auxiliary ministries, and sermons that do not resonate with their spiritual needs.
The Need for Human Leadership
Many pastors have been taught to “let me decrease and You [God] increase.” While this serves well to keep the ego in check, it is also a severance point. For us, there is a non-negotiable need to be deeply rooted and connected by shared experience. We desire leaders whose humanity authentically reflects our own. We can accept that you are flawed, but we cannot accept that you are fraudulent.
Far too many pastors are relying on the emotionalism of the charismatic church tradition that has fallen on ears that are unwilling to hear. Leaders cannot provoke a praise or shout from Black Millennials with haughty judgment laden in sexism, classism, and homophobia. We need tools for survival in a world that seems to hate us. We don’t need the world’s hatred reinforced in the church.
Outgrowing the Church
Black Millennials are also unwilling to commit themselves to a stagnant, stale church. Many of us feel disconnected from churches that have not grown and matured with us from our youth into our young adulthood. With many churches showing open hostility and disdain for the movements that matter to them, Black Millennials feel no need to connect to churches that do not support them or their needs.
God with Us, God Within Us
The need for Black Millennials to see themselves goes beyond leaders humanizing themselves. Many of us are exiting our congregations because we don’t see ourselves in the biblical text or worship practices. Our sanctuaries are adorned with depictions of saints and a savior whose skin doesn’t look like our own. Our leaders are attempting to scapegoat racism as an issue of sin rather than skin. It is no wonder that we would rather exit than be indoctrinated with Respectable Christian Politics.
Black Millennials Desire Disruption, Not Assimilation
Respectable Christianity Politics is a set of requirements where sin must fall within respectable limits in order to be eligible for salvation and the right hand of fellowship within our churches. RCP has defined our acceptable dress code, style of worship, and even which sins we confess and address.
Our preference for respectability over discipleship has led to an edging out at the cross for those who fall short of Christian exceptionalism. RCP reinforces the myth that Christian exceptionalism, as a person of color, is the cure for anti-blackness.
It is not by accident that Evangelical Christianity traditionally associates black with death, sin, and evil while white is associated with purity, innocence, and holiness. It is not simply a “difference of opinion” when opponents argue against the endarkenment of our Savior.
Many denominations of Christianity teach of the flesh (body) as inherently evil and wrought with iniquity, keeping us away from the perfect holiness of God. With that logic, black flesh becomes even more inherently evil than white flesh. As whiteness continues to be prized as the penultimate marker of civility, the desire to gain favor in the sight of White Gaze (define: white gaze) will remain—even in the faith.
The Country Club of Christ
The exodus continues as a relationship with Christ grows more elusive and exclusive. Today’s church can feel as if it requires an application and interview process before you can access corporate worship. There are so many restrictive requirements for performative Christianity that edge out many Black Millennials.
Black Millennials are in a period of awakening that cannot be dimmed with “that’s the Word!” We are far too educated (both by way of collegiate matriculation and informal learning) to overlook the glaring injustice of the world and reinforced oppressions in the church. We’re cringing at the shouts and praises gained at the expense of our LGBTQIA comrades. We wince at the outdated sexist remarks across the pulpit. Little by little, we’ve been shown that we must adopt an anti-them mentality to fit in with fellow parishioners. And we’re refusing to play that ball.
Our Sex and Sexuality Are Sacred, not Sacrilegious
Black Millennial Women experience a different axis of oppression within the church. In addition to all the other problems mentioned, we are met with misogyny and sexism “in Jesus’ name.”
We Don’t Need More Shame
It feels that there is no missed opportunity to remind women of their role of subservience to men within our hallowed halls. Black Millennial Women live and participate in a social media culture where if she breathes she’s called a hoe. We are saddled with the responsibility of not only our sexuality but that of our Christian brothers. Our dresses can’t be too short, too tight, or reveal too much shoulder lest we cause a “good man” to fall. Despite being dressed up in scripture, we find no refuge in our churches from the ongoing shaming of our sexualities.
The conversations around sex in our churches are almost always one sided and revolve around instructing women to “not do it” and “save themselves for marriage.”
We Reject Purity Culture
To be clear: there are many churched millennial women who embrace purity culture hook, line, and sinker. However, for those of us exiting your pews, we refuse to have our entire value as women be based on what lies between our thighs. We’re battle weary of your analogies of our bodies to cars and other inanimate objects. We’re exhausted from battling the natural sensuality of our bodies and your perception of its purpose.
It is not that we wholly reject celibacy. We do, however, reject the idea that the choices we make regarding our sex should be for the benefit of anyone but ourselves. We reject the notion that our sexual pleasure matters not. We refuse to embrace ideology that evaluates our existence by our body counts. We reject purity leaders who tell us to wait for marriage only to restrict the pleasure that we can enjoy within our marriages. We reject Women’s Ministries that don’t acknowledge that we have a purpose and pleasure beyond wife/motherhood.
Your Singles Ministries Suck
Black Millennial Women are underwhelmed by the offerings from the Singles Ministry. The skewed gender balance leaves little opportunity to meet a potential suitor (sexual orientation aside). Many responses complained of a lack of focus beyond becoming a wife and mother. Listen: 57% of Black women 25 and older have at least attended college. We clearly have interests that delay our interest in entering motherhood and/or marriage. Still, in a society where 48% of Black women have never been married, churches cannot afford to have failing Singles’ ministries. Yet, here we are.
We Refuse to Stifle Our Dreams
With massive education credentials, talent, and creativity, Black Millennial Women have so much to offer our churches than our usual relegation to auxiliary ministries. We deserve more than vanity titles that better reflect the fragility of the male ego than our call in the ministry. We reject having our ministries limited to “women’s subjects” in the pulpit. We cannot be bothered to “stay in a woman’s place” and “submit” to authority that is rife with patriarchy, misogyny, and sexism.
Politics in the Pulpit
Perhaps the greatest undoing of the relationship between the church and Black Millennials is the dire absence of evolution in political engagement from the pulpit. For us, there is a longing to see the church of the Civil Rights and Black Power Movements; the church that was not afraid to position itself at the front lines to fight against systemic oppression.
Instead we are left with a church that runs on the residue of its glory years as the center of the Black community, a reality that couldn’t be further from the truth.
We Need a Right NOW Word
Black Millennials are more politically aware than ever. Even if we haven’t sided with a political movement, we are painfully aware of the world around us. We are seeking refuge in our churches and are only met with antics that tickle the emotions. We desire to be equipped with how to take on a society that hates us – and we need to be told more than “just pray about it.”
Black Millennials are also wholly disinterested in seeing white supremacy reinforced in the pulpit. One respondent eloquently articulates it:
I stopped attending church because there was a disconnect between what I was hearing/ seeing practiced in church and what I’m living. I need a word for right now that addresses the craziness I feel praying to a God who has not always kept me safe- about keeping my young Black son safe.
It is challenging to wrap my mind around the fact that suffering for indigenous people, women, and people of color is God’s will. As hard as it was for me to accept that I should have stayed in a dysfunctional marriage because that would bring me closer to God. At what cost?
I cannot reconcile the ultra-religious Trump/ GOP/ republicans who go to colonize the “savages” and demonize perceived “others” at home.
It’s Time to Get the Hell Out
Given the political and social climate for Black life in the U.S., it is no wonder why many Black Millennials are rejecting the theology of hell. Witnessing state-sanctioned murders at the hands of law enforcement coupled with a political regime that deepens institutionalized marginalization daily is enough hell in itself. Hellfire and Brimstone sermons aren’t moving us to join the ranks of your membership rosters – nor convincing us of room for us at the cross.
Capitalism & the Cross
Black Millennials are no longer tied down to one place. Now that many of us are no longer relegated to “certain parts” of town, we’re participating in the gentrification of the neighborhood too. As such, many of us find ourselves a lengthy commute away from our places of worship.
Our upward mobility has come at a cost, as do all things with capitalism. We are committed to 40+ hours in our jobs. Our homes and families need our emotional presence and nurturing to remain stable. While our increased income benefits church budgets, our obligations leave us little free time. The idea of giving what little we have to attend unfulfilling church services is of little interest to us. Yet, many congregations are still stuck on the notion that one must be in physical attendance to “truly” engage in worship. We need progressive churches that understand that God can, and does, meet us any and everywhere – even if that somewhere is our smartphones.
Who Will Bridge the Gap?
In short, we are not a generation lost, your churches have simply not made themselves a home to be found. As long as churches bury their heads in the sand, refusing to acknowledge the problems, the institution of the Black Church may become nothing more than a historical relic.
I CAN HELP!
If you’re a Faith Leader who is struggling to attract and retain Millennials, I’d love to connect with you to see how we may partner to help you better reach a more engaged, diverse, and larger audience. Let’s talk today!
OMG, this is me! I am not black nor a millennial but this is exactly how I feel. I am white, “ boomer” that experienced all the emotions and concerns beautifully expressed in the article. I want “ church” but it fails to accept me and more importantly other educated women, our LGBTQ community, my equality with men or just even a different point of view. I was silenced for speaking up against views I could not stomach or even worse there was a definite attempt to “ convert” me to the correct point of view. I was treated like a child yet I have a PhD from a leading University. It feels like I am going to an antique land devoid of any connection to the here and now.
So true I can really relate to this info.
Believe it or not this exodus began with my generation, Gen X. If you’ll allow another analogy think of the generations being born while on the way to the promised land. You (Millennials) are not alone feeling the way you do because the same sermons were preached to us, the same hypocrisies exposed, the tactics to guilt and shame us into staying “holy”, and the same lack of engagement with a church ill equipped to groom us for leadership in the church existed then too.
What we didn’t have, an advantage you have over us, is the platform by which to unite yourselves (interwebs, social media, etc.), finding solace by connecting through your common spiritual disconnectedness being made easier through technology. Combining your voices to be louder than the hypocrisy and RPCs imposed by man that, IMO, have been wrongly the cornerstone of Christian life. You actually have someone listening to you now. Whereas in our cases we only had each other, the other individuals who felt held back but didn’t have a language to express that disconnectedness and certainly no support to help us understand it or navigate the void left in us between leaving the church and adulthood. And even if we did have each other it was few and far between because my generation would likely scatter, go separate ways and lose touch until there was no connection, with an exchange of phone numbers and promises to keep in touch, often broken. Until, with the advent of social media, we found each other again online.
So, these issues plaguing you and other Black Millennial Christians have been building momentum for some time and unfortunately passed on to you, inherited from us, the generation that was to, in fact, teach and train you in the church. For that I am sorry truly sorry even though I bear no direct responsibility aside from the fact that when I was in the church I didn’t study the word on my own enough, which is something I learned to do alone. The revelations of answers and comforts to your ire are indeed in that word and will be revealed to you in study and true seeking in the knowledge of the word, other scriptural resources and prayer.
Thank you for being a voice for your generation of disenchanted Black Christians and an unintentional voice for ours. Much love.
P.S. (Does anyone use that anymore?) Perhaps you can build a church? 🙏🏾
I think finding the right church is key. There’s a different between traditions church and progressive modern churches. My church isn’t the traditional black church. It’s home for every race, gender, and sexual orientation. It might be a needle in a hey stack but there’s good woke black churches out here. HopeHaven Church in Woodbury, NJ (www.go2hopehaven.org) is one and so is Epiphany church in Philly is another.
I was unchurched and almost hotep. Luckily I found a traditional/contemporary church in Birmingham, al led by educators, ppl who fought during civil rights, and others. The pastor had an open door policy which led me to voice my concerns and needs not met as a millennial which led to
me being on a team for millennials. They had everything I could want as a blk millennial in a churchvery different from what I had coming out of Detroit. Community outreach, mission trips, mentoring and counseling plus grants to help the needs of the Black community I think finding the right church is pivotal. I didn’t recognize my growth others did. I left the church at 12 and found myself search for 1 at 29 on google. I’m glad I found one and the opposite of the things I’ve experienced like the point in the article.
I myself been in church from young I’m now 58 yrs.old I haven’t found a church home yet reading this article is how I always felt I tell ppl and my ppl that I’m not a religion but because this is what they become they look to their pastors as they God sick up to them most of the black women are I’ve tdd weight not taking care of their beam I know whom I am I always was spiritual I’ve been woke for many many years thank you for this article I will share the light keep doing what you doing and I will as well
so much to say about this article……
There are alot of things in this article that ring true..alot that ring TOTALLY false. Clearly an indication that this is your opinion and not based on concrete knowledge. This article is written as if theres no hope. As if there isnt a church emerging who understand millennials and embraces them. They understand that the LOVE OF GOD is what will win the soul of a sinner. They understand that all sins are equal and that God isnt pleased with any of them. A church that can LOVE a homosexual but not embrace their lifestyle. It also seems that you went into this article with a bias….LGQT community always does.
There was also no offering of a solution, you HAVE portrayed yourself as the expert on this topic…. or maybe you care to just offer your opinion. It IS your website.
The fact that this article has been written in the time we are living in now, further perpetuates the fact that Jesus is soon to return.
You have much to say about nothing. You’re a typical brain dead adherent to religiosity who wouldn’t know God if she showed up in the flesh and slapped you in the face.
Your reading comprehension is about as good as your textual exegesis. The piece clearly states that this data was gathered from actual people giving their actual experience making it a qualitative research analysis. Qualitative Research is also used to uncover trends in thought and opinions, and dive deeper into the problem. Qualitative data collection methods vary using unstructured or semi-structured techniques. Some common methods include focus groups (group discussions), individual interviews, and participation/observations. Since you’re in the cheap seats, I know that probably didn’t reach your row. In short, it means that this is a product of *gasp* multiple people with individualized experiences and opinions thereof.
Please take your embittered keystrokes elsewhere. I’m sure they’re needed in some “woe is we” doomsday conversation. Your intense lack of knowledge and general obtusion is not needed here.
Hi I am not a Millennial, but you spoke heart and truth in this article. Thank you for helping me find the word for my own feelings about the Black Church!!!
I’m glad your blog exists. It makes me feel a little less like Elijah in the wilderness, complaining that I alone am left of all the prophets.
Thanks for those lively challenges to the Black churches of today! What are the churches’ challenges to Black Millennials? To not give up on those congregations that are serious about serving their local communities, trying to promote an intelligent and relevant theology, rejecting Black complacency and pompous materialism, and continuing to battle white domination and racism wherever they are unmasked. Please continue to study African American history, philosophy, and literature appreciatively, but also critically. And find out what it really means to believe that God is not yet through with the descendants of those who were sanctimoniously enslaved and dehumanized!
Excellent!!! You’re asking all the right questions and drawing some very powerful conclusions. Deinstitutionalization (and maybe reinstitutionalization) is not a bad thing – Jesus gave his life for it! Keep up the good work.
That part, that part and that part ????????????????????????
Jesus is the bread of life, living water. Those that come to him will never thirst. So for those millennials who feel their needs are not being met spiritually, I question their conversion. Any time a text is opened and preached from, you should always come away fed. I don’t care if a goat, little kid, woman, etc. preached. It’s the word of God!! So tired of the excuses. Either you want God or not. God did not instruct pastors to adapt to the culture but for the exact opposite.
The unwillingness of Pastors to hear and shift accordingly is doing a disservice to the church, period. The bread and butter of churches through the attendance/membership of Gen Xers and Boomers will come to a certain end. The generation that the church has willfully alienated will be what is left. So, what shall we say to these things when the church has died by its own stubborn hand?
Alonzo Shell you mentioned Pastors not comforming to culture however Jesus came among the people talked with them empathized with them and ate with them among other things. Pastors today are detached from their congregants they only preach up on a pulpit, live in their mansions, fly their planes. If you are poor outreach is done only as photo ops or to put people’s minds at ease as to what they are doing with the money. I see Pastors adapting to the culture of the newest fast car, newest fashion, houses looking good so isn’t this comforming? And from the Jesus I know he went to people they didn’t just flock to him.
And if you keep reading the NT you will see many people “left Jesus” (John 6:66)! After He ate with them, healed them, cleansed them. When Jesus said “unless you eat of my flesh and drink of my blood you have no life in you” (John 6:53). And people did flock to Jesus but when He put them to the test many forsook Him. Are millennials going to leave the club, the shacking, the down low for Jesus. Jesus taught “if anyone is going to be My Disciple they must take up their cross and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24). Many have been hoodwinked not by evangelicals or the black church, they have been soothsayed by our educational systems. Some are right about our pastors and we ministers have to be contemporary in understanding that many college presidents do not believe in divine revelation to govern our lives. We have totally abandoned a Christian Worldview. I went to City University of New York (York College) and God dealt with me to go to Oral Robers Universtiy School of Theology and Missions. Indirectly while there I learnt something that I had missed for years though I had went to Bible School my church held. I was a Christian World View. That topic and term was forged in my mind by just seeing a course offering on an easel at O.R.U. Christian Millenials must do everything in their power if they truly love Jesus to learn a Christian World View. That God speaks today and wants to rule and reign through Jesus in your life by His Living Word and power of the Holy Spirit made available by Christ’s Most Precious Blood. Yes the history of race is important and must be tackled for us blacks, but remember conflict in the world has always existed. Even long before the advent of America and God’s answer through Israel was the cross of Christ…for all nations. Does God expect us to pay a price? Emphatically Yes!!! Lets Get busy!!!
Alonzo read the text and missed the message. How do you question their conversion and not your own willingness to accept critiques (that are by no means new)? Animals don’t preach in churches and women have a history of being discriminated against within the Christian church under the cover of so-called christian doctrine. To deny that history and add a goat to it makes your comment disingenuous and intellectually dishonest. The critique is to the cultures within churches (multiple; plural) that are distancing members and guests from the christian practice of church attendance. Be clear, my/our love for God has not changed. Our avenues to christian fellowship and education have. To think that the only place I can commune with God is in a physical building is where you got it wrong. To think that I should give my tithe, time, money, and talents to a physical place of fellowship and keep my thoughts about said place to myself is trash. I speak plainly to God, and if God can handle that, then so can God’s people. The pride of clergy will be a plank in their own eye. Giving thoughtful feedback to prideful clergy appears to be the same as casting pearls before swine: useful and futile.
I would love the chance to speak with the person that wrote this.
SO many great points in this article. As a black millennial still involved with the “church” I’m constantly questioning my involvement there. I make a choice to show up and be engaged because I feel like, if not me, who? I do believe that church still has an integral place in our community, so I want to be one of “us” that is represented within. Thanks for the thorough analysis!
This.
WOW. I feel you articulated my sentiments very well! All these thoughts and feelings is what pushed me to start reading your blog last summer!!
Thank you, Jasmine! I do my best lol
Reading the comments reinforces the article. There are those who are attempting to defend our obvious shortcomings as the traditional church. There are those who have gained knowledge without benefit of persons with whom they can exchange points of view and gain understanding. We find those who take every word in the bible and on the internet literally.
As an old woman who is shouting “YES!” and “SAY IT!” through the article, it is my opinion that we would be better served to hear what the author is saying. Then we may be able to OPENLY and HONESTLY discuss how we can prepare meals that fill and nourish all who really want to know what it means to be Christian whether in 37, 1917, 2017, or 2117.
Maybe it would help if we would read the article a few times as through eyes other than our own. Context, context, context. Perspective, perspective, perspective.
Education is great, we all need it and most of us have it. This equips us for reading and understanding the WORD OF GOD for ourselves. No, we can’t put our trust in man. God gave His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins, so man do sin and fall short. The Holy Spirit lives in us and when we allow Him to do so, He will lead us in the RIGHT direction! It is not always easy and can be downright hard at times, because as you indicated , we don’t want to hear or do things that is not satisfying our desires. But when we read the WORD OF GOD, pray for understanding, study to show ourselves approved, there is no confusion about the way/roadmap that leads to the Kingdom of God. Preachers, (most of them) can only tell us what the Word of God says and get the true GOSPEL to the people. The rest is up to “YOU” to either believe or not believe. We can’t blame our choices of going to a House of Worship or not going to a House of Worship, on preachers, christians or anyone else. We are responsible for our own Salvation which only God can give. The way was clearly explained when Jesus said “I am the way”. We must follow the path that Jesus Christ blazed for us. I very much understand the confusion and wows of this world. The Exodus in the bible led the Children of Israel out of SLAVERY into the Promise Land. Where might an Exodus from the church lead the millennials or anyone else to? Would it be beneficial to pray and ask God for directions? Might He direct you to get involved in the church and make a difference or show you something in a different perspective? God loves us so much and He does not want ANY of us to be lost. The Exodus of the millennials, from the Church/House of God/House of Worship. The Word says we should come together as children of God to worship Him, and keep each other lifted up.
Be Blessed
I’m not in the business of pushing the blame onto the people for the flaws of the pulpit. It’s time to change. That can only be done when the problem is acknowledged.
Many of us are leaving for the same reason white millennials are – we have access to the internet and lots of information that directly contradicts Christianity. We’re more educated and no longer have to rely on what a pastor or the Bible says. We can find out the information for ourselves and many of us are waking up and realizing that we’ve been sold a religion of lies. You can try to change to entice the next generation to stay but it won’t work. There is too much truth readily available to those willing to look. It’s going to get worse and worse for churches over the coming years, and I for one take comfort in that.
You know Voltaire also said something along those lines. I would be careful as all of this knowledge emboldens your pride against God. Jesus Christ truly is God, died, and rose from the dead for all of those who will believe on Him.
AMEN!
And AMEN!